MISSING MY DEAD FATHER

Almost 4 months have passed.. but still the hurt resides in me.. I miss my Papa.. L He died of lung cancer.. I never knew something like this could happen to me.. Still clear in my mind .. I was shocked when I saw Papa lying down on the floor in his bathroom.  I panicked and quickly called Mama and my brother, Halim for help.. That time I saw a lots of blood clots inside the toilet.. Halim tried to call papa many times.. But no response..

There were a few blood clots inside his mouth and nostril.. Perhaps that caused papa could not able to breathe and collapsed.. I ran and quickly called all the neighbors for help.. Ambulance arrived half an hour after that.. The assistant came in and did a checkup.. And as a result, my papa pronounced dead.. I felt so sad because he left us without saying goodbye…  L

I felt regret because I wasn’t able to help him.. To save him.. And I am also sad that I am not able even once to tell him that I really2 love him..   I miss him so much.. I just hope he knows how much I love him.   I still cry when I see his pictures. 

This was the last picture of him.. :(

Everything has been fated…  All I can do is keep on praying… May his soul rest peacefully..